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80 Signs if you are a Desi in Abroad

Written by Mohammed Mujeebuddin Faizan

Saturday, 01 September 2007

Many of us here are staying abroad or stayed in abroad at some point of time. And the funny thing is
there are a few features that are sooo typical for this desis in abroad that somebody really sat down
and jot 80 characteristics for the same...enjoy

80 Signs if you are a Desi in Abroad

1....you ask for small drink at fast food restaurant because the refill is free.

2....you know more than one plans offered by long distance companies.

3....you take plain water instead of Coke for lunch. (may also be a health nut)

4....you take any drink with no ice because you can't drink ice.

5....you ask before eating any meat "Is this beef?".

6....you try to ignore all other unknown desi's around you.

7....you tell your friends about this wonderful opportunity, and invite them to an Amway meeting.

8....you know all the facilities available at public library.

9....you talk to Americans as if you represent your whole country.

10....stove top in your apartment is covered with aluminum foil.

11.....you frequent to yard sales every week.

12....you find KFC sauce packets in your kitchen drawer.

13....your dinner involves spreading newspaper on living room floor.

14....you take off your shoes before stepping foot in your living room.

15....if you like onion rings at Burger King.

16....you are looking for dual voltage appliances.

17....the phrase "When are you going to India" comes into your conversation at least once a day.

18....you bought Toyota or Honda car only because it has better resale value.

19.....the number of long distance calls is more than domestic calls.

20.....you keep switching your Internet service provider because first month is free.

21.....you go back to your apartment for lunch.

22.....your full name contains more than 15 characters.

23.....you know all the $1.50 theaters in your city.

24.....the only reason you go to a temple on festivals is because there is free food.

25.....you have spent nights in the car while traveling because you wanted to save money spent on cheap motel.

26.....you don't know any American outside your work.

27.....you tried to flirt with the Hindi speaking operator at AT&T.

28.....you have at least one Indian made pressure cooker in your kitchen.

29.....you know how much a 7 layer burrito costs at Tesco.

30.....you run to Laundromat in your lungi.

31.....put oil in your hair.

32.....you have a picture of Indian deity on the dashboard of your car.

33.....if this thought comes to you "Oh sh*t I just saw another desi" when you are window shopping at the mall.

34.....if you keep comparing prices at Circuit City for the phone you bought six months ago.

35.....the lawyer handling your green card is in your speed dial.

36.....you are compelled to visit every major city in US, just so as to say that "Yes I have been there "

37.....you are comfortable with an American than an ABCD.

38.....you have been to Mexico or Canada for multiple entry H1 Visa.

39.....you pay your bills the day they come in mail.

40.....spent 2 days cleaning your apartment before leaving so you can get full security refund from landlord.

41.....have a bucket in your bath tub.

42.....you have to borrow luggage from friends for India visit.

43.....the smoke detector goes off whenever your are cooking dinner.

44.....you know which grocery store keeps coriander.

45.....you buy butter milk before you run out of it.

46.....you use grocery bags as garbage bags.

47.....you say 'Damn I have already seen this show" when ever you are watching Married With Children.

48.....you buy rice in the 20 pound bags.

49.....office supplies mysteriously find their way in your house.

50.....you don't want to buy a printer because you can always use the office printer.

51.....you have postponed buying answering machine because the computer you are planning to buy six months later has in built answering machine.

52.....your idea of fun involves bowling.

53.....you starts spelling your name to the operator like A as in Apple, B as in boy , T as in train ..well you get the idea.

54.....you ask another desi if he /she ever got a traffic ticket.

55.....you haven't had a single female in your apartment besides your friends wife.

56.....you bring over the counter medicines like Iodex and Vicks from India.

57.....decide to marry a girl, your parents fixed without even meeting her.

58.....you know the current differential in gold prices between India and US.

59.....you go to a temple to look at girls.

60.....you have worked illegally in a Guju's motel.

61.....you mark your forehead with sacred ash.

62.....you have bought a video camera just before Niagara trip and returned it after the trip.

63.....wear VIP/Indian brand underwear and undershirts.

64.....you have Rin (detergent soap cake) in your bathroom.

65.....you have taken pictures of your car and mailed to your folks back home.

66....you use the credit card with maximum cash back.

67....you have collected enough frequent flier miles for a international trip.

68....you are saving more that 30 % of your salary.

69....you talk about the sexual escapades of your friend.

70....you have never asked a girl out. (you might just be plain ugly too)

71....you've book marked immigration web pages in your browser.

72....you know your friends salaries!

73....you smell likes a curry.

74....you have asked a PhD student for a ride to grocery store.

75....there are more than 4 guys living in a 2 bedroom apartment.

76....you have a cooking schedule in your kitchen cabinet.

77....you spend at least 2 evenings in a week at Kmart.

78....you split even the tax out of your common grocery bill.

79....you complain about Indian international airports on your first vacation to India.

80....you take 4 week long vacation

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Abdul rahman - Read this

IP:213.42.21.53 | 2007-10-16 10:21:43

Hello mr mujeeb uddin.I think u r a crazy man i even dont have words to tell u something u r mad

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